Last Updated on Thursday, 14 January 2016 10:28
By Kevin Hartzell
Let’s Play Hockey Columnist
I was lucky enough to attend the Minesota Vikings game this past Sunday. As you all know, it was a cold day for football. But Minnesota fans came to support their team dressed like Minnesotans know how to dress. I am happy to have been a part of this great event. In my opinion, it was a great game played by two especially outstanding defenses. In the end, however, what most people were talking about was a missed field goal that would almost assuredly have sent the Vikings onto the next round of the NFL playoffs.
It wasn’t just a missed field goal; it was a missed field goal that was relatively easy except for all the circumstances surrounding it. Those circumstances included a lot more than the elements of cold and wind. The heaviest of circumstances were psychological expectations. Everyone around the kicker, which of course included his teammates, fans and really a whole industry, expected him to make this kick.
My reaction to the missed field goal was immediate; I felt completely sick for Blair Walsh. Matter of fact, I was already a bit nervous for him when the Vikings entered field goal range. This was going to be a potential game-winning kick with a whole community on his back. Not easy to do. Yet this is what this man is paid to do, to make this kick under these pressurized circumstances. In spite of years of training, Walsh proved to be very human.
I don’t know how I could handle such a public failure myself, except for the support of my teammates and family. And that, I am hopeful and even confident, Blair has.
All of this has led me to reflect on ME. How have I been in the past and what I am going to be in the future in the support of others? And how am I going to be better for myself?
I cringe at times when I think about my early days in coaching. I was HARD on my players. Sometimes maybe too hard. I drove my players. And we had a lot of success. But upon reflection, there were so many things at which I could have been better. I am not proud of how hard I was on some of my former players, yet I also know my “hard” was also good for some.
In recent years, I have grown to be a different coach, a different me. Not so harsh and hard, but to the point, I think, with what I hope is years of experience helping me to better ways. Whatever any of us does, however, we will make mistakes and even fail at times. From these failures we must learn. Not learning is the only true failure.
I know there are parents who are harsh to downright cruel to their kids or spouses when they “disappoint” them. I have been hard on my own kids. I hope not cruel. The question we need to ask ourselves is, “Why are we so hard on those we love?”
What do we do as parents, teachers and coaches when we come across failure? If you are a parent-teacher-coach, you will have kids who fail. Some of these “failures” are frustrating, let’s not sugarcoat it. Kids who are learning right from wrong, healthy choices from not healthy choices, smart from downright dumb, will make mistakes. We all have to remind ourselves that the mistakes of our kids and students are part of the learning process and not a reflection on anything or anybody. And as leaders of others, we also will fail in our leadership choices at times. In the end, however, it is not about what we know; it is about what our kids and students learn.
I have said it many times, if one decides to get off the couch and participate, then one will need to learn how to handle both success and failure. They both are part of the equation. And the failure part, learning how to deal with it, learn from it, might be the most important part of it all. Those who get angry or those who write the harsh words directed at Blair Walsh on social media might be the very people who have the most to learn.
As parents, coaches and teachers, let’s all continue to believe in high expectations and the pursuit of excellence. That pursuit should always remain. The road to excellence, however, is littered with failures, big and small. Learning to navigate this road is a life-long endeavor for us all. Let’s all help each other with as much positive energy and love as we humanly can. The world will be a better place for it.
Kevin Hartzell is the director of player development for the NA3HL’s Twin City Steel. A St. Paul native and forward for the University of Minnesota from 1978-82, Hartzell coached in the USHL from 1983-89 with the St. Paul Vulcans and from 2005-12 with the Sioux Falls Stampede. He was the head coach of Lillehammer in Norway’s GET-Ligaen from 2012-14. His columns have appeared in Let’s Play Hockey since the late 1980s. His book “Leading From the Ice” is available at amazon.com.
